When you are choosing someone to work with, especially on a spiritual and emotional level, it really helps to know more about them, so here is my story;
4 years ago I was in a dark place, going through my then 3rd breakdown, due to severe anxiety. I was feeling lost, alone, scared and stuck. I had just lost what I thought was my dream job and did not know what to do.
Previously I had worked as a Probation Officer, and briefly as a substance misuse worker, but when things within the Probation Service became extremely stressful, I went to work in the charity sector. I became a Domestic Abuse Recovery Worker, helping victims with their emotional recovery.
Whilst doing this work, I noticed that many of the various forms of abuse I was educating my clients about, were all too familiar to me, and I finally came to recognise that I was, in fact, a victim of emotional and psychological abuse, and had been for a long time.
My relationship with my Mum was a very complicated one. I had become her carer at only 11 years old, due to her mental and physical health issues. Whilst she could be fun, loving and affectionate, she could also be very unpredictable, self-centred and deeply damaging to my self-worth. I would be praised when doing as she wished but made to feel increasingly guilty when trying to prioritise my own needs, causing me to question myself constantly. I also became increasingly isolated from other family members, serving to increase feelings of being alone, unloved and unwanted by anyone but her. This in turn led to an intense trauma bond between us.
However, in my 30s, I was very lucky to meet an amazing counsellor who started helping me to see to damage this relationship was having on me. So when I lost my ‘dream’ job and my anxiety went sky high, I returned to see this counsellor. She continued to help me to see the links between the anxiety and my relationship with my mum, which had only gotten worse.
I tried many times to put boundaries in place but they were always met with anger and guilt trips. And so, when I returned to the counselling, she asked me to consider a life without my mum in it. At first, this seemed a terrible thing to do. So instead, I tried again to put some healthy boundaries in place, but when they were met with such anger and lack of consideration for me, I knew it was time to end the relationship. I knew, if I was ever going to be happy and well, I needed to cut ties.
Since then, I have been on a long journey of healing, letting go and discovery. Healing my wounds, letting go of guilt, shame, anger, grief and self-doubt, and discovering who I really am, and how to have a kind, loving relationship with myself.
Immediately after cutting ties with my mum, I continued to see my counsellor for a few months. I then went to train as a clinical hypnotherapist. During my training, I also started to reconnect with my spiritual side.
In my 20s I attended a spiritual development circle with an amazing medium and healer. She helped me develop my mediumship skills and helped me realise I had a gift for connecting with people’s spirit guides. So, when I started on my healing journey, I turned to my team of spirit guides for love and support.
Once I qualified as a hypnotherapist, I set up a clinical hypnotherapy and coaching business, using all I had learned in my professional career, but still did not fully embrace my spiritual side for fear of scaring clients away.
Then lockdown hit and I allowed my business to go quiet and instead focused on caring for my two children. However, I realised to keep them happy, I had to keep me happy. So, I gifted myself 2 hours every morning, to meditate, read and use my oracle cards.
Through this, I was guided to bring my spirituality into my work. I had some coaching myself and began reading, reading and reading some more. I explored many different spiritual teacher’s texts, including Dr Wayne Dyer, Syd Banks, Michael Singer, Eckhart Tolle etc. And so, my business started to pivot and when I returned to hypnotherapy, I started meditating to get guidance before seeing my clients. I found I was channelling scripts for them, and clients were hugely benefiting from meeting their Spirit Guides whilst in hypnosis. Eventually, I developed my own S.E.R.E.N.E way of working, which can help other women, whose hearts have been hurt by their relationship with their mothers to find peace, strength and start developing a loving relationship with themselves and in turn have healthier and happier relationships in all areas of their lives.